i dont do much
while sitting at the job spot allowing my talents to erode, it occured to me that i am getting older i’m not as young as i once was. i dont really spend that much time wishing i was on some seize that day shit, but it did occur to me that most of the things i regret in my life were things i didnt do as oppossed to shit i did do. i pretty much feel as though most things are worth doing once (no homo) and i generally think that if (activity) is wack, well so be it. ain’t nobody going to make you do it again. anyway, rather than continue to bore you (in some cases, to death) with the lowercase no apostrophe stylings of a gully muh’fucka (people dont say gully anymore huh? i suppose in some circles they never said it. word to me not being as young as i once was.) on a thirsty tuesday i will hit you with a list of things i’d like to accomplish. some of them are long term. like spanning decades. you have goals?
yeah, i bet you do.
1-learning to drive. it doesnt bother me that i dont know how to drive, it bothers me that if i was to hop in a whip and start driving, i would prolly get popped for not having a license. i cant even really spell license with any confidence. last time i drove a car, i crashed (ever so gently) into my boy AGs crib while he was asleep (full disclosure, it was his car) while at the height of intoxication. i remember whipping it around uptown new orleans with no lights on and no clue how to turn the lights on. ahhh, memories.
2-smoke a blunt while looking at remnants of the roman acqueduct (it is roman, no?) around nice,france. i got love for france, even if its not the popular thing to do these days. i remember vividly this flick in an art book (im assuming this was hs as most of my post-hs memories of education are hazy, at best) of the acqueduct and I guess a forest or some shit (in retrospect, i may have been a bit liberal with my usage of ‘vividly’) and it had a look of being untouched since the acqueduct was built. in a strange way it made me reflect on human advances in the face of nature and how, eventually, empires crumble, their armies disband but nature is unrelenting. it seemed like i could do some real deep thinking there and that i could urinate freely without fear of reprecussion. alas, in my youthful ignorance i neglected to rip the page out of the book so this goal may require some research. thank god for the internet.
3-be buried in a pyramid. ideally of solid gold. a monument to the man. i’d like it to be in NYC, but as long as it is in America, thats cool. i imagine i would need some sort of way of keeping it clean and nice, but i’ll leave that to my (unborn) children. i can imagine it now.
young woman: hey you, what do you do?
my son: i keep my fathers pyramid clean and free of birdshit.
young woman: shall we have casual relations?
my son: (in r.kelly voice) now usually I don’t do this but……(cue "ignition (remix))
4-ive never been iceskating at wolman rink in central park. i havent even ice skated in years, but i always enjoyed it. this is a lot more doable than the first 3, but alas, it would be without the sense of accomplishment if i do check it off the invisible to do list.
5-have kids. that i know about. ha!
6-i really want to pee in the indian ocean. i will than purchase myself a t-shirt that says "i peed in the indian ocean."
7-continue to amuse myself. although my motto is "unamused and unimpressed" (my other motto is "god-like, not god") i tend to amuse, if not ever impress, myself. i’m just the man like that.
AUTHORS NOTE: the title of this post is an allusion to the Beanie Siegel song of the same name. in it he says "y’all don’t do much. sit on the block and look dumb." or something to that effect. just keep that in mind next time ya sitting on the block looking dumb.
