Football: God With A Ball
Ayo!
I just wanted to point out that Football rules the United States with an iron fist. Football employs more people than GM, McDonald’s and the Post Office combined. Football is older than the bible and has been translated into twice as many languages. Football transcends race, religion, country and everything (except perhaps gender -ahem, female sideline reporters babbling on and on and seducing Broadway Joe). It could be said that football, and not the wheel or whatever else people are all rah-rah about these days is actually mans greatest accomplishment.
While football never once got me high or gave me a blowjob, I’m still as fond of it as fond can be. And that’s just swell! Football is a means of making the transition between the incredible summer and the horrible winter go smoothly. Football allows you to drink all day on Sunday without feeling like an alcoholic. Football gives hope to hopeless men and money to poor people. Football cures diseases and negotiates nuclear non-proliferation treaties. Football never stole your girlfriend and never would. Football always wants to stay out for another half hour on a weeknight. When Football fought the law, Football won.
So, there’s me, blocked booked on Sundays through New Years.
In other news, Baseball doesn’t suck either.
And I’m also fond of Horse Racing, Boxing and World Cup soccer.
Twice in a row when I bowled in a large group of people, I had the highest score. I really like bowling too, but it’s not like you could catch me watching it on TV.
And I also recently bet $20 that I could beat one of my boys in golf, even though I’ve never golfed an entire 18 (or even 9) holes. I just have faith in myself like that.
Have a nice Monday Night!
