The Neilsen Ratings Are Bullshit
The Oscar ratings were down 10% from last year, according to Neilsen, which is bullshit.
Because I’m a decent human being and also because I worked as a telemarketer for a few weeks when I was in high school, (once after taking 2 uppers that were really downers, to hilarious results, just like the Basketball Diaries) I’ll talk to those strangers who mispronounce my last name. I can sympathize with anyone cold-calling and as long as it is just a survey and not them asking me to buy something, I’ll happily oblige.
So, when I was in college and the Neilsen ratings people called me, I told them "sure, I’ll do your survey." I always assumed that the Neilsen ratings (which determine important things like advertising rates) were based on scientific satellites and complex algorithms. Nope, they are just self-report survey from drug addicts like me (who totally lied and said the only thing I watched was Law and Order, because I rep Law and Order like that) and totally unreliable.
So when I read this article, http://www.forbes.com/entrepreneurs/feeds/ap/2006/03/06/ap2573180.html I took it with a grain of salt.
Also, the Neilsen people mailed me five one dollar bills (stupidly, they did this BEFORE I completed the survey) along with the survey and suggested that I could use the money to "brighten the day of a child."
I used it to buy weed. Fuck a child (no pedophile).
You (not me, YOU) learn something new everyday.
In other news, I feel like I’m getting the flu. But at least its the good old-fashioned human flu.
