Deal, motherfucker, DEAL!!
I don’t usually fuck with game shows, but there are exceptions to every rule (except the rule about not sleeping with your half-sister). Enter Howie Madel, host of Deal or No Deal (on all week at 8pm EST on NBC), which is basically that crack programming that I’ve been waiting for since football ended. They say it’s only on for the rest of the week, but I’m betting if I go to the studio and beg, they’ll let me watch some more.
On a side note, I know Howie Mandel was a comedian back in the day, but I mainly remember him from that annoying Saturday Morning cartoon Bobby’s World. The show wasn’t good, even by cartoon standards. However, my main issue with it was the ugly characters, which is also the reason I don’t fuck with The Family Guy. I see ugly people all day in the real world, I don’t need to come home and watch them on TV, cartoon or otherwise, thank you very much.
Back to the matter at hand. The premise of Deal or no Deal, assuming you haven’t seen it, is pretty simple. Howie "Wowie" Mandel picks someone out of the audience to be the contestant. I can’t imagine that these people are chosen at random, because they always happens to be traveling with their support group of friends and family who advise them. Then we meet see the models (I love them. Shut up, I love them.) who are each holding a suitcase which contains a random dollar amount from a penny to a million dollars.
The contestant then selects a numbered suitcase from 1 to 25, but maybe only 1 to 22. This is their suitcase for the whole game. The contestant then picks suitcases by number, which the models open to reveal dollar amounts. The lower the dollar amount, the better it is for the contestant, as that increases their chance at having one million dollars in their suitcase.
I hope that my explanation has given you a semblance of the rules, but in the interest of time (I have an online Fantasy Baseball draft in about 30 minutes: my life is hectic!) I’m not going to keep explaining the rules. Here is a link to the rules as they are in England http://www.channel4.com/4money/ontv/deal_or_no_deal/rules.html .
England? Yeah, England. Did I fail to mention that this game was a GLOBAL PHENOMENON? My little younger brother was telling me that he saw it when he was in Australia and that it was the shit. He was actually right for once!
Anyway, this post was actually supposed to be in response to the contestant last night, who was some late 20’s or early 30’s white guy who was a member of the Las Vegas S.W.A.T. team. I couldn’t believe that they actually had a pig on the show! I mean, is there anyone left in this entire country with any love for the fucking police? It became apparent to me that we (the people) were supposed to be rooting against dude.
And it was pretty easy. I mean, he had the most ridiculously high-pitched squeal that he emitted whenever anything went his way. Advise for the general public, if you are going to be in a situation where you could potentially win lots of money, lets practice our celebrations first, okay?
Anyway, I’m off to create a dynasty. Watch Deal or no Deal and we’ll talk about it later in the week, OK?
