Killing for someone is the new dying for somone
Monday, January 2nd, 2006
Fam,
I have not updated in a minute because shit has been rather hectic in my life. At one point last week, I was alcohol-free for 6 (six, VI) days in a row, which may have been the longest streak of 2005. Just in case anyone forgot, being sober = the suck.
"Oooh, look at me, not drinking alcohol and thinking I’m better than everyone. Aren’t I so special with my focused vision and unslurred words? I’m the magical prince of a land called "Remembering What Happenedstan", and my kingdom stretches from Self-Control all they way to Tact (or the Isle of Knowing What The Fuck Not To Say, as I call it)."
Shit was pretty wack. It also brought up the undeniable truth that if I didn’t drink at all, I would save millions of dollars. Literally.
ANYWAY,
I was thinking the other day about how I love my friends (no homo) and that I would die for them kill someone for them. I mean, the idea of making the ultimate sacrifice for someone is cute, but being dead = extended sobriety = the super suck.
This recalls a conversation me and the homie Sosa once had while I was rather intox.
After a night-into-morning at Harrahs in the N.O. Sosa and I got into a heated argument about whether or not I would take a bullet for him (I was aggresively insisting that I would), which culminated in me laying down in the middle of Oak Street (like those kids who tried to copy The Program and died. Biters who died, I call them.) and blocking traffic and generally making a huge scene at like 8am. Minutes later I was asked to leave the Chevron station on Willow and Oak after a horribly failed attempt to purchase cigarettes. Who the fuck gets kicked out of a gas station?
The lesson here is two-fold.
1) It always better to kill someone else than die yourself.
2) Never doubt someone who is blackout drunk.
Anyway friends, here are some random facts about what will doubtlessly occur in 2006. Say it with me DOUBT-LESS-LEE.
1- You will see an increased number of dead pigeons in the street.
2- A late-night snack of will lead to an episode of food poisoning.
3- You will run afoul of a Polish person, but eventually settle your differences over a couple of ice cold Kujawiaks.
4- The color yellow will be increasingly popular.
5- 2008 is the year of the Ox.
6- Illegal border crossing will become a "hot topic", making Lou Dobbs very happy.
7- You will have an erotic dream about someone half your age.
8- People will begin to drink heavily on Election Day, starting a new American tradition.
9- In early July, there will be a great deal of thunderous noises and colors in the sky.
10- The Mets will win exactly 87 games, the Yankees 103.
11- The question mark will replace the exclamation point as the most overused punctuation in America?
Classroom conversation: What if rappers could not use contractions?
EX: "You can not knock the hustle", "Money is not a thing".
Try it with your favorite rap song!
