fun facts about the world

Not unlike Operation Iraqi Freedom, the bloody and ill-conceived war over the next Supreme Court justice is still raging on. It should be noted that the fire on the 59Th Street Bridge has been extinguished in a way we can only hope the insurgents burning hatred of American occupation will one day be. Ha!

So, as this Harriet Miers "lady" is being confirmed, some of her past opinions have come to be in the public spotlight. This lead "me" to consider how some of the things "I" have said on this blog (God help me if any of my people remember some of the things I’ve said in real life after a long night of pints) could negatively impact "me" if "I" were to be nominated for the supreme court in the future or, barring Miers confirmation, in the next few months.

"I’d" also like to point out that the "person" who is writing this isn’t actually a person, but a composite of the emotional outrage felt by numerous people, plus some farcical controversial viewpoints. Realize that this fictional character operates with complete detachment from the larger being, not unlike the role "Slim Shady" plays to "Eminem", or happiness plays to sadness if you are bi-polar.

So if you are reading this and you got offended or think these are somehow the opinions of an actual person (who may or may not be appointed to the supreme court) you are sorely mistaken.

Electric sliding back to "my" point, it has recently come out that Miers called Bush the best Governor ever and this may in fact be her only opinion on record. I happen to know for a fact that in "Texas" the Lt. Governor does most of the actual work, but that’s neither here nor there. She is on record as saying it and that’s all that matters.

Another thing she is (somewhat?) on record for is being against most abortions, except for those which save the life of the mother. But this hasn’t been widely reported and stems from 1988, when everyone was still smoking crack. That seems like some lunatic right-wing shit. One wonders if she had been more vocal at some point in her life (obviously blogs weren’t around when she was a twenty-something back in the 1940’s) if it would come back to haunt her. Perhaps not, because as the NY Times reports, she is known around Washington as (and "I" won’t even front, "I" only picked up on this from The Daily Show)  " a very good bowler, for someone her size, she actually gets a lot of action out of the pins."

But considering that the other option for the Supreme Court, ("me") once said the following things:

"Now that that proves that drugs in general, and crack in particular, are not only good for you, but there is little chance you will ever be famous, popular, rich or loved by your parents unless you take drugs."

AND

"Basically I view people who put their complete faith in some religion as lunatics."

AND

"something to consider: with all the failures and disgraces that women have brought upon themselves recently….is it only a matter of time until a woman’s right to vote is revoked??"

Honestly, "I" was a little worried about the sheer number of times "I’ve" put my foot in my mouth in public, private and in settings which could only be described as screaming at strangers. I was actually considering the fact that "my" political career was in fact over before it began.

But then I realized that I was a really, really good bowler for my size and my pin action is beyond reproach.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 9:57 am and is filed under Tuck Your Chain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.