Moron Alert
So, I’m feeling all "under the weather" and shit this morning, due to drinking last night until the wee hours and not getting nearly enough sleep.
So I’m at work, trying not to throw up on the computer, and pretending to be busy while I search menu pages, as if to pretend I will actually eat something instead of starting to drink by myself, hopefully with some tree, because that shit makes you high, son. What?
Huh?
Anyway, so as I’m looking at the menu for this place Cabanna (excuse my spelling, our Gov won’t let me learn about Cuba), which has locations in the South Street Seaport (they also have a Sharper Image and a Pizzeria Uno, which has excellent happy hour specials and a view of, I don’t know, Staten Island. Pizzeria Uno that is. The Sharper Image has no happy hour special, however they do sell Breathalyzers and chairs that give blowjobs. Oh to be paid!) Forest Hills (my old hood. we had so much fucking fun just drinking 40’s in the garbage alley in the freezing cold that it should have been illegal. The amount of fun we were having that is, our underage drinking was, in fact, illegal) and also on 61st street, which is really close to where I work, just in case you had plans of finding me and killing me.
Anyway, now that I’ve made a short story long, as I was searching the menu to see if I could ascertain (that’s what smart people do, stupid people "figure out") how much the ropa vieja cost (that’s skirt steak, for all of my non-latin readers) and if they were open for lunch, I came across this "review" posted by "Yankees fan in NJ." I’m no cartographer, but I would be hard pressed to understand captain douche bags mental map of NYC.
"My buddies and I drove to Yankee Stadium, parked our car and took the #4 train uptown to 59th Street. We ate at Cabana’s, great meal, great service, got back on the train back down to Yankee stadium in time for the first pitch. This beats by far a hot dog and beer at the game! What a great way to start the ballgame. And the Yanks won!"
^ I hope you get hit by a car. Your children will not be allowed to play with my children.
