Fuck Tom Cruise
Now, I’m yet to reach the level of global fame and (assumed) fortune that Tom Cruise has attained.
But at least I’m not a cult member, and the last girl I had relations with looked a lot better than Katie "barnyard animal" Holmes.
.
.
(she’s the one on the right)
And if someone, reporter or otherwise, squirted me in the face with water, I would either take it as a joke and let it live, or knock homie out. Tom Cruise decided to take choice c) whine like a little bitch.
"Do you like thinking less of people, is that it?" Cruise whimpered to the fake reporter who squirted a non-lethal amount of water on him.
If I was the reporter, I would have then followed the first "prank" by spitting on him and screaming "you married that fucking hideous whore Nicole Kidman, how could I possibly think any less of you after that."
But that’s me.
Many reports have surfaced that Tom Cruise is in fact, a homosexual and that his relationship to Katie Holmes is nothing more than a publicity stunt to promote his movie "War of The Worlds" or as they call it in the Bush Administration, "The War on Terror."
Holmes, who came to fame as a salad-tossing stunt double on the HBO hit "OZ" had this to say. "My friends at home are into rap. I’m like, yeah (bobs head), trying to fit in. They’re like, Katie, you’re such a nerd. I’m like, I know I’m a nerd. I never said I was cool. I’m always the girl that’s like, what? What’s going on?"
I was always under the impression that every girl was the type that’s like "what? What’s going on?". I was going to make up a quote to make her look like a stupid whore, but once more, an actress (a female one at that) has made my "job" easier than it should be..
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In other news.
the war in Iraq, still
spell check: won’t let "homie" in
helicopters = bad
BBQ’s = good
Tulane Vs. Texas, 7pm Monday, ESPN.
