I could be Prime Minister of England
So the results are in and once again our collective homie Tony Blair "Witch Project" has been elected prime minister of England. I haven’t read up on this much other than the grenade attack on the English consulate in NYC the other day, but for the sake of argument, we’ll say he won in a landslide.
Now I’ve spent some time in England and it’s a pretty dope place. The weather sucks, but pretty much everyone is an alcoholic, so it’s not that bad. I am also a big fan of such laws like "you can drink on the train" and "you can drink in the street" and "the police don’t have guns." However, things are expensive and our pitiful economy has insured that our dollars are worth basically as much as ruples were after the USSR fell. TANGENT.
Anyway, my main point is that while watching Tony Blair get crucified on television during a town hall meeting, I realized that he didn’t have very good teeth, which I know is one sterotype of England that holds true (like the shitty weather and the tea), but I figured that the fucking prime minister could spring for some Crest Whitening Strips. Being no prince of oral hygeine (i’m so un highgenik I can’t even spell it right) myself and possessing a mastery of politics, I figured that the only thing preventing me from rising all the way to being the prime minister of England was my lack of English citizenship, which seems like it would be easily attainable. So, in the next English elections the candidates make look like this.
Tony Blair, prime minister.
VS
James Schiavone, American hero.
