my take on national security and a few words on people I’d like to see shot.
So basically my job is to accept passport applications and make sure that whoever is applying for the passport is the person whose information is on the form and that their ID matches their information and looks both like them in person and the picture they submit, blah, blah.
Pretty much it amounts to me sitting there on the internet adding girls on myspace and keeping up with the latest information about Tulane Baseball (no-hitter this week, what??) and the various other random bullshit that is on this World Wide Web (I’m a fan of the posts site and slate, whatever).
I digress (sp?), anyway, I am what you would call underemployed. Meaning that my amazing college degree (yeah Tulane. I mean yayo Tulane!) undeniable physical attractiveness and the sort of people skills Jesus had (until they crucified him) would have landed someone with ambition a real job by now. My point is that my job isn’t difficult and is reactive (vs. proactive, explaining that to my bosses: way over their head.) so basically i sit there wishing I could puff the la-la-la and I don’t know, watch TV.
So while what I do isn’t difficult and I only "work" maybe 40 mintues out of the 7 hours a day I work, the fact that I just kinda got hired without anyone asking too many questions doesn’t exactly help me sleep easy at night (thats where the ambien comes in, that you very much) and the fact that I’ve been doing this for a year leads me to believe that no one is going to ask them to me or any of the other numerous passport agents across the country.
So my concern is that with all the "terrorists" in "post 9/11" America don’t you think someone would need some sort of formal training other than the 5 hour monotone lecture and slide show I got on my first day of employment. Maybe a background check perhaps?? Maybe like a little true/false quiz or something, nothing too complicated. par example.
I hate America. T F
I’m a terrorist. T F
I hate America. T F
I’m sure there would be a few people who they could disqualify for the position right off the bat. Why don’t they do this??
I ask these questions because all state employees (in NY at least, I’m not speaking for these other herb-ass states. NYStand up!) need to be fingerprinted and go through a background check before they begin employment, and since I just switched payrolls I needed to be fingerprinted to get on the state payroll.
NO, not because I was in a position where, if i fucked up, a U.S. Passport (which is basically the most valuable document out there, exculding maybe the dead sea scrolls and my first fake ID) could easily fall into the wrong hands, that didn’t warrant me being fingerprinted and backgound checked. NO, no, but they couldn’t give me state benfits without screening me. That would be unprofessional, I suppose.
But what is even more worrysome (sp?) is that even if I had a history of spewing anti-America rhetoric and being bagged for it by the thought police or whoever does those illegal arrests and detentions these days, no one took ANY steps to prevent me from obtaining this position other than have me submit proof of citizenship. Shit I could even be on a no-fly list chilling in NYC handing out passports to my "evil" associates whose nefarious plots to destroy the country would be so much easier to pull off if someone from the inside was helping them out. (Im not, clearly, but I’m better than that. so much better.) so this is a problem. I’ll update if I somehow solve it.
*side note. people who live in NYC and eat at Subway and Dominos fucking kill me. Listen, when I was in the dirty dirty and motherfuckers couldn’t make pizza to save their failing public school system, I’d go with Dominos as the lesser of the evils. Same with Subway, they didn’t have Boars Head down there (which is clearly the KING OF PROVISIONS) and the "deli’s", when they weren’t being shot up, would carry grade c boiled ham, and maybe some shrimp for po’ boys, so it wasn’t like their was a viable alternative. But in NYC where Boars Head and the best pizza anywhere outside of Italy lock down the motherfucking corners like 5’s when Jewlie started with that quality of life shit and your stupid ass is choosing Subway or Dominos, well I do say you deserve to be shot.
